I had the most amazing experience just a little while ago. My son, Arnie, had two of his guy friends over. They're going to "hang out" and then sleep over, but one of them forgot to bring his "stuff" (meaning toothbrush and some DVDs they wanted to watch) so we drove together, the four of us, to his house.
"The Boys" - Jon Crispel, Jake Smith, & Arnie Sallan (photo by BJ) My son now has his driver's permit so he asked to drive, to which I agreed. I sat shotgun while Arnie's two buddies, Jon Crispel and Jake Smith, sat in the back. My son driving was new to them so they all said something like, "Cool dude, you're driving." How it happened, I have no idea, but we started talking politics - specifically the good and bad about the new Arizona Immigration law. What followed was a healthy and very smart debate on the issue, with each (teen) boy participating like they were on a political panel. Their opinions and their knowledge blew me away. What happened to just talking about games, girls, and grunge rock 'n' roll?
Today, my new radio show goes "live" and the topic is, "Social Media, Our Kids, and Us." Details for the show are further down on this blog page and I hope you'll isten and/or call in. But, that is not the point of this blog.
There's an irony to this week's radio show topic in that I will be discussing how texting and other forms of Social Media can be harmful to our teens and tweens. I will also touch on its damaging effects on adults, but the focus is really on how it hurts our kids.
Yet, yesterday, my 16-year-old teen son demonstrated yet again a level of maturity that blew me away. Of course, this comes and goes, as he has no control over his raging teen hormones and emotions, most of the time. But, in those rare moments of relative sanity, he can knock my socks off and this was one of those moments.
Context - read my blog about his amazing good fortune and initiative in getting to jam, on stage, with Chris Cornell at The Roxy a week ago Monday, May 3.
I've become a stage mom, loving and wanting to manage his rock 'n' roll career. For the most part, he welcomes my enthusiasm, experience (from my former showbiz life), and my wallet and driving. But, naturally, being the in-your-face sort of guy and dad I can be, I can get over-involved.
Yesterday, alone on the way home from school, he asked if he could talk to me about something. In very calm, clear, and exceedingly mature words, he asked me to "back off" in my "involvement" with his band's affairs. At first, of course, I was hurt. But, instantly, I recognized not only the truth of what he was saying, but the maturity and smarts in which he presented it. I started smiling which threw him off a bit, of course, but quickly acknowledge he was right. I told him I "owned it" and would back off. It was his band, his music life, and my only involvement should be when and if there's costs involved and/or things get out-of-hand in any way (drugs, groupies, etc...but I'll handle those things myself to support him).
Arnie Sallan performing in a Rage Against The Machine tribute concert (check out the YouTube video below)...photo by Logan Spangler
Another parenting lesson for this so-called, layman parenting pro. Everyone can always get a refresher and reminder to do it better!
